Ugliest Bike Award winner

[LunchboxBen]

Ya, I know I'll get laughs. Just here for some info on parts so I can at least ride it comfortably.

The good: Faster than my old Ninja 250

The bad: Where to start?
WTF happened to the seat?
Tank is dented, may never fix due to bike value.
Bought mirrors, from Korea or somewhere, they're smaller than I thought, kinda work. Better than what was there before, mirror on a piece of crudely cut sheet metal.
When I turn, the right-hand signal will also cause the left-hand to flash lightly.
Last owner wanted to be custom, so he ground off the chrome and put gun bluing on. I took that off, painted the regular parts with Rustoleum Hammered, and high-heat black paint on the exhaust. Wanting to go with a military bike, so I painted the tank and fairings green because they're easy to repaint, and want to paint the military stars with the broken circle around the star on those three pieces.
The tires seem gummy. Not something I can't overlook, but it doesn't seem safe.

This is in no way what I want in a bike, I was just looking for a cheap bike to ride while my car is fixed. Driving period is about 3-4 months out of the year, and I'll be driving my car more when it's fixed, this will be my economy transportation, assuming I keep it.

Must work on:
Want more info on seat recovering (I have a cover), need to make a pad cheaply.
Need to fix turn signal issue, so both signals don't flash. What causes that? No problem with left signal.
I'd like to get a round or pair of round headlights on the cheap end. Otherwise need to cover the light and exposed wire, it's ugly. Kid made drop brackets for the light from sheet metal.
The handle bars suck. I'd like to be able to get them above the tank. They only lock when jammed into the dents in the tank, but I'm not worried about it being stolen.
I need a rear fender to be street legal.

I'd also like to see about changing the signals. I'm not a fan of big bulky signals.

Now:



Just after I got it:



Old Ninja, some mods from stock:

Among Harleys in Virginia City, standing out like a turd in a punch bowl:

The old fleet, don't own any of those vehicles anymore:

78 Vespa Bravo, 02 Ninja 250, 99 Honda XR80

[JB1290]

  to the forums.

Ride safe. 

[coffee_brake]

You don't seem to like the bike very much. Maybe a different model, or a different specimen of the 550 would have suited you better.
That seat looks positively awful to ride. I hope you can find an Ebay replacement, cheap.

[gammer]

The tank is dented to accommodate those lowered bars. I'd keep a look out on eBay for stock handle bars and tank. Also keep an eye out for a used seat. If not, take your seat pan to someone who does marine upholstery and see if they can put new foam on it for you and apply your seat cover. I had one done for my old Suzuki GS550e and it cost $100.

You might want to visit a few cycle salvage yards and scope them out for parts too.

[ariwhiteboy]

  to the forums! Don't worry about your current aesthetic situation, we've seen much worse. As long as you love it, it's a good bike. (and who couldn't love a NH!?)  Take care and ride safe. 

[cjbear11]

You're bike doesn't look nearly half as bad as some others that I've seen on here. The dent's in the tank are a first though. lol. Lucky for you, you've come to the right place for help. I suggest shopping around on ebay for good used parts. I get the majority of mine from there. Otherwise there are other websites that we can guide you too.

 !

[Option13]

Not quite, cjbear. One member named ninskrillz desided to rat out his perfectly good looking 700S, and eventually destroyed it because he wanted it to be "unique". Anyway, he got flatter handlebars and when they wouldn't clear the tank, he just bashed the tank until they did.

Glad I'm getting the vibe that this will be the exact opposite process.  

[LOKi]

Not quite, cjbear. One member named ninskrillz desided to rat out his perfectly good looking 700S, and eventually destroyed it because he wanted it to be "unique". Anyway, he got flatter handlebars and when they wouldn't clear the tank, he just bashed the tank until they did.

Glad I'm getting the vibe that this will be the exact opposite process. 

You sure this isn't that same bike? Looks like the "dents" in the tank are intentional.

  to the forum. You have got to get yourself a full face helmet. That green thing is useless.

[muttstang]

I got a round headlight on ebay for around $35 and it is working well.  You do have to figure out the mounting hardware though as it just has through holes and no threads in those holes.  I used some plumbing fittings and drilled/tapped them to a 7/16 course thread internal thread.

[ariwhiteboy]

Glad I'm getting the vibe that this will be the exact opposite process. 

Unfortunately I bet it's going to be much more difficult "undoing" than "doing". 

[jdcglasnost]

Yeah I think everyone is drinking that water, as my 550 the person smashed dents in a PERFECT fuel tank. For handle bars.. really? I didn't have a welder or money so I've used fiberglass and bondo... with a little luck it will last till I can buy a good tank. Though if I could figure out how to make the 650 tank fit... 

[happycommuter]

Is that the plastic seat pan stripped bare of all padding and upholstery?  It looks surprisingly good, although it surely is utterly unusable.  Ask some auto upholstery shops what they can do.

[LunchboxBen]

Thanks for the kind words, I really didn't expect everyone to be so nice. I've got a membership for almost every vehicle I've owned. I joined a Celica forum earlier this year. If you post in the off-topic section, they have a rule of "no holds barred" where someone looked up my name, went to my MySpace and started posting pictures of me that I didn't want there and started flaming me, and I had to delete my account just to get rid of them. The mods said he went too far and deleted his posts, but that you are warned in the rules. I post there very little and only go for occasional tech help and some of the good deals in the "For Sale" section. I've got about 10k posts across the internet, including one where I haven't posted more than a couple per year the past four or five years, and I'm still over 2 posts per day.

I've been looking on eBay, found a few seats and bars. After looking at it, I think it's a bicycle bar. There's a cross-cut pattern in the center, looks like it was made to bolt to a bicycle fork. Doing the seat shouldn't be too hard. I'd probably try it with some cheap foam and vinyl first to see how well it lasts, and maybe have a slimmer look than the original seat. I'll probably get a cover and it will be stored inside the unheated garage during the winter, best I can do. Had my Ninja seat crack from the cold and frost.

Also, the seat pan is bolted down in the center, not sure how it was secured before or how these work from the factory. Not sure on a helmet lock, either. Would be nice since I drive taxi. I may have to go aftermarket, or just hope nobody is upset with my helmet being in the vehicle, no problems yet.

There aren't any salvage yards around here. Best bet is to wait for a free bike on CraigsList.

The green thing, I call the phallus helmet, is for passengers. I got it with the bike, and painted it to match. I have another helmet, cracked visor, but keeps bugs out of my mouth. No helmet or insurance law in Montana, but I still like to wear it. Makes it less likely to be pulled over if they think you're being safe.

And I do kinda like the bike. It's better than a moped and gets about ten times the gas mileage of my truck. With working part-time (rare time), it's good to only spend a couple dollars in gas getting to work when they only need me an hour or two, compared to almost ten dollars of gas in the truck. If I work an hour, usually two at most, I get about $3 for my time after gas. Then take out taxes... My only safety net is tips.

Thinking about having fun with the bike. If the tank wasn't dented, I could do my idea better, with some flames. I may just do that to my Dodge in black. Racing stripes where the sides are flames. Or racing stripes with a Dodge Ram in the middle of the hood.

[LunchboxBen]

Is that the plastic seat pan stripped bare of all padding and upholstery?  It looks surprisingly good, although it surely is utterly unusable.  Ask some auto upholstery shops what they can do.

I'll be going cheap. I may just put down some rigid foam and put some softer foam over the top and just vinyl over it. I have had some work at it. I've driven it about 20 miles with little problem, but the bumps are horrible. It's actually not as bad as I had feared. It rides better than my bicycle, and I even had problems with comfort on my Ninja, this is barely more uncomfortable. I would have to stand up for short periods while riding around town on the Ninja. As shown on the Virginia City picture, I drove from Three Forks to Ennis, up through Virginia City, Whitehall, and back to Three Forks. About as much butt pain as riding my bike for ten miles.

Here's some examples of work I've done:

This is one of those, "If I had to do it again, I would do it differently." 93 Cougar back in early 2000, first car I've done anything to:




This one, 88 Bronco, I did like the outcome, had it for about 3 years and no problems:







Those two were my favorite vehicles I've owned. I like the Celica for its sportiness, but the Cougar was just a nice luxury sports car. Would liked to have had the 5.0 or the Thunderbird SC. I fit a rocker in the back seat and could put a passenger in the front seat. The luggage rack was useless, I never even used it when I went to college, 3 different schools. Definitely plenty of room to lay out in back as well. I've been trying to get another one, just not many up here, and I had the Celica when I finally found another one in good condition.

My old S10 with the old trailer:


From this:


To this:


I like working on projects, it's my "anti-drug" and keeps me occupied. I like to think through stuff and see what I can do with what I have. Sold the trailer after I bought another, which was too heavy for me to even tow in-town, no more than 35mph. Sold that, picked up another one I traded my shotgun for, but never got around to fixing it up. Figured it's too late to work on it, and I may just wait until next spring so I have time to build, or just buy a trailer to move with and fix that up. The Dodge just can't handle much. I'm thinking of building my own topper from the same material, such as lauan. Would have to cover the floor of the truck since it's rusty. I may do this, but fairly certain I'm moving. Then, I'll just sell the truck and take the bike and car with me to Illinois. Would probably be something like driving the car down with essentials, and packing up a UHaul with the bike and everything else. Likely to happen in the next year.

[cjbear11]

Not quite, cjbear. One member named ninskrillz desided to rat out his perfectly good looking 700S, and eventually destroyed it because he wanted it to be "unique". Anyway, he got flatter handlebars and when they wouldn't clear the tank, he just bashed the tank until they did.

Glad I'm getting the vibe that this will be the exact opposite process. 

Yea I remember that bike. Gave me chills ever time I saw a pic of it. I guess I don't remember the dents in the tank though. Ugh, why ruin a tank that is not only perfectly good, but they don't even make anymore!?

[talespin]

I'm not a fan of big bulky signals.

I'm a fan of signals big and bulky enough for drivers to notice and maybe not flatten me.

[LunchboxBen]

I'm a fan of signals big and bulky enough for drivers to notice and maybe not flatten me.

I'll get a pic up when I'm on my computer, but I was able to convert the reflectors on my Ninja to clear lenses with yellow bulbs for turn signals, then I added plate signals so I could have dual signals. Easier to see, and not ugly.

[LunchboxBen]

I know I go on, but at least there's a new pic. Got some funky Krylon paint at Wal-Mart, and some high-heat paint with a satin finish. Looks better than before:





As promised, the signals on my Ninja:

OEM lights:




New set:

[gammer]

I agree, I think that color looks much better then before 

[bajakirch]

Dude, that seat looks like a medieval torture device. I couldn't imagine running up to the store sitting on that, much less doing my 25-mile commute on it.

[LunchboxBen]

It's rather flat. Was hoping to see what I could do to make my seat mount like factory. Right now it bolts from the top. I'll probably get a small piece of foam, wrap the seat pan. I think it could look nice as long as I can figure out the mounting points and release.

[DogBunny]

Lunchbox Ben, I like your ugly bike.

[LunchboxBen]

Thanks! Got the seat fixed up in a fairly acceptable way, and made my fender from scratch. Now the speedo is out for some odd reason. Went out while I was riding.





Thinking if I want to replace the tank and bars or not.

[Option13]

Mine did that once too. Check to see if the cable is broken, or the gearbox.

[LunchboxBen]

Alright, will do. It heads down from the gauge to the wheel, so couldn't be too much trouble, especially when I've done all the other work to it.