The "I'm dumb" thread.

[SliverXZennon]

We had baked chicken for dinner that night.

Ha, awesome. But you mean charred right?

[gammer]

One winter our garage door was frozen at the bottom corner in solid ice and it would not open. I thought it was a good idea (at the time) to melt the ice away with a 'blow torch'. So my friend and I spark up the blow torch and I start melting the ice. Turns out the nozzle attachment on the blow torch was not on tight and next thing you know the entire top off the torch is on fire...including the knob to shut the gas off. So instead of running to the back of the garage where the open doorway is to the outside, and taking care of matters outside...I decide to 'throw' the torch out of the open doorway. Well Nolan Ryan I am not, and the flaming torch hits the door frame and falls right beside a 5 gallon plastic gas can. I look at my friend and he looks at me and we both have this look of "Oh Sh!t" on our faces. Luckily I was able to pick up the torch and get it out of the garage before it ignited the gas can.

[hppants]

Gammer - I think you and I would make for an interesting camping trip. 

[gammer]

Gammer - I think you and I would make for an interesting camping trip. 

As long as you bring the butless chaps  (queue banjo music)

Just joking 

Seriously...as long as we can throw aerosol bug spray cans in the camp fire, then I'll feel right at home...

[cjbear11]

Quoting SOQS - "How about the time you nearly burned the house down?"  Oh yeah - good one.

20 years ago, we are BBQing and the coals won't light.  I'm out of matches.  So, I go in the house and roll up a piece of cardboard.  I tell SOQS to light it on the stove on my signal.  She is watching from the window.  I douse (and I mean douse) the 1/2 lit coals with lighter fluid.  I signal my wife and she comes outside with the cardboard torch.  I make a trail of lighter fluid to the side of the pit and touch it with the c/b torch.   WOOOFFFF!!!  The flame was at least 10 feet high and it's licking against the eve of the house.  SOQS grabs the garden hose and brings it to me.  I squeeze the sprayer only to realize that the hose is not connected to the house.  Fortunately, the flames are now down to about 6 feet and it appears that I got lucky.  It took a few weeks for my eyebrows to grow back.

We had baked chicken for dinner that night.

  Awesome story

[Brittles]

Some funny stories.

I burned my eyebrows off once . .........I should have known not to press that ignitor switch on the gas grill immediately after opening the top with gas built-up in there!!.................heeeers your sign.  ......was like a little bomb going off in my face.

[tcoop]

Some funny stories.

I burned my eyebrows off once . .........I should have known not to press that ignitor switch on the gas grill immediately after opening the top with gas built-up in there!!.................heeeers your sign.  ......was like a little bomb going off in my face.

Been there done that...

[lysolmp]

Ok heres one that happened today. . Forcast for today called for a quick thunderstorm, so the night before i put the tarp over my 3 week old(to me) FZ1.  I have no garage cuz I'm still an apartment dwelller. Right before I leave for work I consider putting it up on the center stand.... But its blistering hot outside and i'm already covered with sweat and fearing the grab bars slipping out of my sweaty palms. So i shrug my shoulders and drive to work.   Half an hour before my supper break the sky darkens and it starts to rain......and then it starts to rain sideways...... Break time comes and i head home hungry for ham n cheese on rye and to my dismay, the bike is on its side opposite of the side stand!   Apparently the tarp i so carefully put on it turned into a giant kite.  Thankfully the ONLY damage was a bent brake lever and some dirt on the bar end.  Lesson learned. If you tarp it, put it up on the main stand too

[bajakirch]

Apparently bad luck with fire seems to run strong on this forum.

Every year I tap the maple trees in my yard and make my own syrup. I have a wood-fired evaporator that I set up in my driveway for my annual cook.

Last year I finished up, then let the ashes sit for a couple of days. Like every other year, I had one of my sons empty the ashes and throw them in the treeline behind our house (Fire Safety Mistake #1).

The next morning about 5:30 a.m. I finished up my run and noticed smoke wafting up behind my house. I walked around to find about 50 yards of my treeline had burned down, including about 1/3 of my stacked firewood. I surveyed the scene and figured, 'Oh well, whatever was going to burn has burned; I'll just leave it be'. (Fire Safety Mistake #2)

About 1:00 p.m. I received a call at work. It was my wife screaming, "THE TREES BEHIND THE HOUSE ARE ON FIRE!!!" I told her to call the fire department. She did, and they responded to put out the blaze. I now had about 100 yards of burnt treeline, including the rest of my firewood. Plus, the fire department had to cut down 2 of my trees because the fire had gotten inside them.

Over a year later and my wife still won't let me start a bonfire or light the grill without supervision.

Did I also mention I am the local scoutmaster? You know, the guy that teaches campfire safety to the area kids? Yeah, that still gets brought up a lot.

[geemann]

^^^ HAHAHAHA!!!   

[SliverXZennon]

^^^ HAHAHAHA!!!   

+1 That's hilarious! 

[gammer]

Ok class...I think its about time we all watched this 1970's short titled: Shake Hands with Danger

Click picture to play video:

[hppants]

Bahakirch - you're invited to camp with Gammer and I.  You can hand out the merit badges.   

[gammer]

Bahakirch - you're invited to camp with Gammer and I.  You can hand out the merit badges.  

The merit badges are made in China out of toxic materials that will ignite if in the presence of daylight.

[gammer]

Oh Snap!

Here is another 70's 'Safety Short', that is outright hilarious. You've gotta watch this:

Down and Out - 1971

Click the image to watch the video


I think we all better take note of after watching this one 

[lysolmp]

I'm going to mention these vids to our HR guy at work! They are hilarious but still hold saftey merit! 

[gammer]

They are actually funnier if you watch them with RiffTrax commentary (but cost 99 cents each)

Down and Out with Rifftrax

Shake hands with Danger with Rifftrax

[flynrider]

  Good ones, Gammer!    I love Archive.org.   Ever wonder where those hygiene films you saw in Jr. High ended up?  They're even funnier today.

[ariwhiteboy]

Thanks for those great films gammer!!!

[gammer]

This is fitting for this thread too.

Click the link to listen to the MP3

Jerky Boys - Motorcycle Accident

[TomInLosAngeles]

And thought of another one -- parked next to a cute co-worker back in my twenties (when cute women took more IQ points off me than they do now).  I'm chatting to her as I take my nylon jacket off and drape it over the seat, looking just as cool as cool can look.

We finally move to go inside, and I grab my jacket to find the sleeve melted to the exhaust.

Not cool.

[Grug]

The 'Shake Hands With Danger' was entertaining.  At some point I expected Jim Rockford from the Rockford Files to come racing outta' the quarry in his Firebird.

[twoone60]

When I was in high school one of my friends and I road my 1971 CL175 to the mall to watch a movie.  I pulled the bike up on the side walk right next to the mall entrance. After locking the handle bars and our helmets to the bike we went in and watched the movie. 
  After the movie we came out with everybody else.  Now this bike had a handle bar lock that was not part of the ignition switch. We put our helmets on and he got on behind me.  I started the bike and we needed to go to the left to get through the people and off the side walk.  I had locked the bars facing left!!  Very embarrassing laying on the side walk with 100 people looking. 

  Now you know why the handle bar lock IS part of the ignition switch.

[Brittles]

When I was in high school one of my friends and I road my 1971 CL175 to the mall to watch a movie.  I pulled the bike up on the side walk right next to the mall entrance. After locking the handle bars and our helmets to the bike we went in and watched the movie.

  After the movie we came out with everybody else.  Now this bike had a handle bar lock that was not part of the ignition switch. We put our helmets on and he got on behind me.  I started the bike and we needed to go to the left to get through the people and off the side walk.  I had locked the bars facing left!!  Very embarrassing laying on the side walk with 100 people looking. 

  Now you know why the handle bar lock IS part of the ignition switch.

Don't feel bad. I know lots of folks that've done the same thing.......thankfully I'm not one of them. 

 

[twoone60]

I don't feel bad, after the first few seconds of embarrassment we laughed so hard we could hardly get up.